6 ways to Help Children Gain a Personal Relationship with God
One of the most powerful gifts we can give our children is an environment where our children can develop a personal relationship with God. As they endure the constant pressures and temptations around them, especially in their teenage years, studies have shown that children with personal experiences with prayer and a relationship with God will have an easier time choosing right from wrong.
How do we help our children gain this relationship? We can’t do it for them, but we can provide opportunities for them to develop this relationship. Our children are really God’s children on loan to us to teach and love them.
Teach them Perspective
Teach your children that they are sons and daughters of God and that they have loving Heavenly Parents who want us to pray to them. Help your children to understand that our loving Heavenly Parents want to help them and give them the peace and direction they are seeking in their lives. Help them to know that they are never alone and that they can always, even if they feel unworthy, pray for help and guidance in their lives. Teach them that God and their parents want them to make good choices. Help them understand that we all make mistakes and no matter what they do they are unconditionally loved by you and by God.
Help them learn to Pray
Having prayer together as a family is one of the strongest ways to help develop personal spirituality in your children. Try to create a loving environment that invites the Spirit of God. Rotate the opportunity so everyone can eventually have a turn to pray. Small children love to pray and get excited to say the prayers as their parents whisper in their ears the words to say. Older children, although sometimes reluctant, also benefit from the opportunity to pray. Prayer time should be a time of love, not contention. If contention arises, you may choose to be the one to pray and include special thoughts of love toward those in your family who are feeling contentious.
We try to have a family prayer every morning. My husband and my older children leave before my youngest child is even awake, so we pray together with the older ones and then I have another morning prayer later before my youngest heads to school. It’s ok if you are not all together. Pray with those who are present.
After we have family scripture study every night, we pray as a family again. There are many times when we are not all together, but we always make it a priority with those who are present and then say another prayer together later with those who were absent.
When our children were younger, and they were learning to pray on their own, we would ask each child to say their own personal prayer out loud in front of the family. There were times when we were saying five or six prayers together every night. Yes, it took a little time but that is precious time when our sweet little ones are learning how to pray, learning what to say and who to pray for, and gaining their own testimonies of prayer. These precious moments were building blocks for their testimonies and relationship with God. Each prayer helped them gain the confidence to continue praying.
Prepare the Way for your children to know God
John the Baptist was a wonderful example for us to follow in leading our children to God. He shares in John chapter 3 that he was there to prepare the people to hear and develop a testimony of Jesus. Jesus is the one that will save them. Jesus is the one they need to follow. We can do the same as we teach and point our children to have faith in Jesus Christ.
We can love, teach, and prepare our children but Christ is the one who can forgive, and transform them. Our hopes should be that as we teach and point our children to Christ that they will develop a relationship and trust in the Savior that will eventually be even deeper than the relationship they have with us as parents. We want them to always know they can turn to us for guidance and love but to also turn to God, who is all knowing and will ultimately help them make the best choices for them.
Help them Develop their own Belief in God
Having a personal belief in God is of greatest importance. Our children can only follow the examples of their parents for so long. Developing their own belief in and personal relationship with God is of greatest importance and will give them the strength they need to overcome the temptations they will face. A loving environment at home where we prioritize reading scriptures or scripture stories together, praying together, serving others, and attending church together all are wonderful stepping stones to help our children build their own testimonies of God.
Pray for them and with them to help find the proper balance in their lives
While your children are young, pray to know where to spend your family and personal time. It is so easy to get caught up in doing what everyone else is doing. It’s ok if your family doesn’t play soccer or baseball. It’s ok if your family doesn’t travel or ski. Be careful of filling your schedules with too much.
Even if your family is older and your find yourself in the overwhelm of too many commitments. Pray to know what activities are important for you and your family. Pray to know what you should cut out. Maybe your family likes to hike, camp, or play baseball or other games together. Pray to know the intensity and proper balance for that activity. Are you spending so much time on that activity that you don’t have time to read scriptures together and serve others? Reflect upon what influence these activities and the peers in these activities are having on your children and you.
Try to help our children focus on the Savior and what He would have them do instead of on worldly pursuits and what others are telling you to do. Teach your children to pray to know God’s will for them. Be an example and pray to know their gifts and talents and help guide them to the proper balance of where the Lord would have them focus their time and energy. Make sure that they are not sacrificing their relationship with their family and God in pursuit of pleasure, worldly esteem, or recreation. Help them develop their personal relationship with God.
Lead with Love, Continue to Love Unconditionally
We can’t force our children to develop a belief in God. We can’t do it for them. They will have the ability to choose. Do not fear. Do not pressure them. Love them and have faith. Start teaching and practicing these principles when they are young, it is never too early to start. A healthy (although far from perfect) home environment full of love, Christ centered teachings, and serving in their home and community will provide the most nourishing environment for the tiny seed of your child’s testimony to take root and grow. Don’t become overwhelmed. Even if your children stray, continue to love them unconditionally. Invite them to join you for prayer or to read scriptures but don’t create contention. Spend time together. Listen to them. Time is the currency of love.